To Be Loved
by ProngsLilyStar
Summary: Maybe this is what it's like to be loved, to be needed, to be wanted. Maybe all I needed was that push. T for a bit of language :) Jily or James/Lily
1. Chapter 1

_**AN/ Big thank you to my wonderful beta 'TechnicallyANerd' who made this chapter what it is! Love you girl. This will be a Jily fic but to stay in canon, there has to be some Snily first which is difficult to write for me seeing as that isn't my choice of ship.**_

_**Beta Note/ Hiya guys. Just wanted to add that the Snily will be more friendship than romance, they are 11 at the start. I hope you enjoy and a big thank you to ProngsLilyStar for giving me something to do :)**_

_**Disclaimer: Neither me nor TechnicallyANerd are JK Rowling, nor do we pretend to be. She is a literary goddess far superior to our meagre talents.**_

_**Hope you enjoy x**_

I lie with Sev underneath a hazel tree. Its funny how he's telling me stories of the life at Hogwarts and the tree we are lying under is special to witches. Like me. Wow, I'm never gonna get used to saying that. A hazel tree is also used to make wands. I wonder what my wand is going to be like. Sev continues to tell me stories of the wonderful world I'm about to enter.

"The four houses are Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Slytherin," He says, counting them off on his long bony fingers. I turn to face him. "I'm hoping to go to Slytherin; it's what my family wants."

"Sev, will I be in the same house as you?" I ask nervously, biting my lip. This experience just seems so big and so little time to prepare.

"There's no way of knowing. On the first day we get sorted into houses by a talking hat that reads your mind!" Sev exclaimed excitedly, looking at me with eyes shining with joy.

"A talking hat, really!" I scoffed. "Though I do hope I'm in the same house as you, Sev."

"So do I Lils," Sev replied smiling gently. This all sounded so ridiculous! Talking hats, moving staircases and potions classes!

"Oh I hope I'm with you, otherwise I'll have no idea what to do!" I sighed picking at the grass.

"I'll look after you Lily, you're my best friend!" Sev smiled.

"Always?"

"Always,"

Even at the age of eleven, I look at my best friend and think, is this what it's like to be loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN/ This one was fun to write, mainly the Sirius parts. Enjoy beautiful people. Chapter 3 is a little bit more difficult to write, the FEELS_**

**_Beta Note/ Hope you like. Remember if you see any mistakes let us know. We don't bite. Enjoy :) - TechnicallyANerd_**

"Oi Evans!"

The annoying voice of James Potter reaches me before he does, unfortunately not giving me enough time to leg it. In seconds, the lean boy with messy hair, glasses and an irritating smirk has caught up to me and grabbed my arm. I tried to shake him off and walk away but Potter, as well as being stronger than me, has other ideas. "Evans," he smirks again, with a lot more determination leaching into his voice. I find myself turning around, to my annoyance, and looking into his grinning hazel eyes.

"What do you want Potter?" I coldly asked. My tone didn't bother the cocky bastard, it only seems to make him more eager.

"You," he winks, "To go on a date with me," He finishes, the arrogant idiot is asking me out again. Really? He has got to me joking. I flick my eyes along the corridor until they find their target. Sirius Black. His muscular frame is leant against a wall not too far away, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. His grey eyes watch James through the mop of shaggy black hair and they're dancing with glee. Next to him, Remus presses his head into his hands and shakes his sandy hair in dismay. My feelings exactly Remus, I think, before turning my eyes back to Potter.

"I'm going to have to decline Potter. Arrogant pigs aren't really my type," I sassed back.

"Whatever then, later Lils," and turns away with a wink to join his friends. I carry on to find mine and here Black's barking voice carry down the hallway.

"You're breaking his heart Evans, the boy is in love!" he yells, people giving me strange looks. I ignore him and walk on. Not that I trust the word of Sirius Black but Merlin. I hope this isn't what it's like to be loved


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated. This chapter has been so hard to write. I wanted it to be just right and it just wasn't working. While I can't please everyone, I'll do my best. Hope you enjoy.

B/N: I also would like to offer my most sincere apology. It is partially my fault that this hasn't been up due to deadlines and computers messing around. I hope you enjoy :) TechnicallyANerd x

"Potter, I swear to Merlin I'm going to..." My voice cuts off as I run towards the seated teenager, wand raised and glaring. As he slowly turns to look at me, I get a look at his face, stopping me in my tracks. He just looks tired. His face was pale with black bags circling his usually shining hazel eyes. I lower my wand, my glare softening. "Potter?" I question.

James shakes his head, though his face remains blank. "Not today Evans, I'm not in the mood." The fire completely leaves my eyes. What's wrong with him? His shoulders are hunched and he looks so young, so vulnerable, no trace of the usual cocky bravado. The bravado that had been used to humiliate me and hurt me in front of all those people. Sev would never have said they things if it weren't for Potter. I bet Potter is happy that Sev and I are not talking. I bet he's thrilled with this new revelation. Then I remember, that's why I'm here. I shake myself; I'm angry, really angry.

"Oh I don't think I'll be going anywhere Potter. You see, you annoy me when I'm not in the mood so I think I should return the favour!" I yell. He sighs heavily, holding his head in his hands. The perfect image of frustration.

"Fine. Yell at me and just get it over with."

So I do. I shout until my voice is hoarse and there are tears in my eyes. I scream and yell, telling him how mad I am and how hurt I am. Then I just stop. Time seems to freeze as we stare at each other. In a heartbeat, I am in his arms, his lips on mine. Without thinking, I kiss him back, putting all my anger and frustration into this one kiss. He moves his lips hungrily like it's the last kiss he will ever have. Hands pull over clothes, dancing over the strange, new body before landing in my hair. I run my fingers through his messy lock and he groans slightly. Resting his forehead against mine, he takes a deep breath.

"Evans. I'm sorry he called you a, well you know. But it wasn't my fault. If I had known he'd say that, I wouldn't have provoked him. He's not the same person he was when you were eleven. You cannot blame me for the words he said. He chose to say them. Be mad at me all you like, but I know that you know that this wasn't my fault," He whispered, sounding beyond his years.

Giving me no time to reply, he kisses me lightly and walks away. As he leaves I notice Sirius, who is shaking his head, looking moody. I think back to the two kisses. The heat and passion of the first compared to the gentle promise of the second. They both made my head spin and my lungs breathless. As I fall into the seat previously occupied by Potter, I press my trembling lips to my hand. There I sit for hours, wondering if the passion I felt from his touch is how it feels to be loved.


End file.
